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The long-awaited BOOK has arrived!
ShoeStories
Pictures + Stories by Claudia Lynch
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ShoeStories Book
$30
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"Who dat!" she hollered, by way of "heads up" as she tossed me another beer. I caught the pass and hollered back, "Touchdown!". Anyone could tell these were not our first beers of the game.
ThiS aint so bad, I thought.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
In honor of the New Orleans Saints: Black & Gold Football Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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Maybe our fate really was in the stars.
It certainly wasn’t in our cards. A fool could have seen that too muchlay between us for she and I ever to become lovers.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Tarot Card Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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Things were moving much too fast, and for me that was saying something.
I was sure we’d only just met, but she claimed to have known me forever. Either way, the messages I was getting were mixed: Yes, No, Yes, No, and some crazy words I couldn’t make out at all.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Ouija Board Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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To me the future meant next week, but that wasn’t what she was talking about. We weren’t exclusive, but since she’d just asked me where I saw our relationship going in the future, I had to figure she didn’t know that.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Crystal Ball Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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“You can rest when you’re dead,” she said. “It’s almost midnight; come on out!”
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Day of the Dead (Man)
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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“I’m dead on my feet,” she said. “My blisters have blisters and my bunions have bunions.”
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Day of the Dead (Woman)
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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She was cute and she was funny.
There had never been anything serious between us, but I looked forward to seeing her every time she came to town. She made me laugh. And I've always been a sucker for the big top.
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Clown Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"You're wearing white?"
She blushed, and for some reason that encouraged me.
"How about a little hokey-pokey with the best man, for old times' sake?" I whispered.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Wedding Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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It had started out as just a holiday affair, something to keep the both of us alive druing the long, cold and exceptionally lonely holiday season.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Poinsettia Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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She'd spent weeks preparing a holiday surprise for me...I couldn't wait to see what she'd cooked up for me this year.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Christmas Apron Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"I don't know how you stand up in those things."
"Who said anything about standing up? This is a holiday."
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Christmas Tree Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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The trouble with throwing a party is that it's nearly impossible to sneak out early.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
The cards with this design would make fabulous party invitations. |
New Years Eve Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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Why had I let her slip through my fingers?
...If she was willing to forgive me,
and to try and pick up the pieces, I vowed never to be that careless again.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Broken Ornament Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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Those stems of hers went all the way up, and kept right on going.
As you can imagine, that wasn't either of the first two things I noticed about her.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Tomato Shoe — Pomodoro
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I was in Cuba on business. The trip was dragging on longer than I'd planned, and on an impulse I decided to take a few salsa lessons to pass the lonely afternoons.
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Tomato Shoe — Salsa
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"Can I take you to brunch on Sunday?"
..."If you get there first, go ahead and order me a salad in a glass."
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Tomato Shoe — Bloody Mary
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I couldn't say for sure which team she played for, but it was obvious she wasn't new to the game. It might be a stretch to think I'd ever score with her, or even get to first base.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Baseball Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"It's too hot to sleep."
"That's fine with me, I said, throwing off the covers.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Barefoot Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"You're clueless, aren't you?"
Maybe I was, but I was trying my best not to come across that way.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Crossword Puzzle Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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It wasn't easy to tell where the artwork ended and the furniture began.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Pisces Shoe
(Fishbowl Shoe)
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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There were two of them and only one of me.
...something about twins in thongs...
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I knew for a fact she was a lot less fragile than she looked.
She'd remembered my favorite color, and had it painted on from neck to toe, but I couldn't let that distract me.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Taurus Shoe
(Bull in a China Shoe)
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"I don't want to do anything out of the ordinary," she said.
I had to wonder how that would be possible.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Capricorn Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I was dying to lose myself in those legs.
...She'd gotten rid of three husbands already. Maybe four.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Black Widow Spider Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I'd come this close to picking her up.
Now that she'd shown me what she was really made of, the thought of touching her made my skin crawl.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Wormy Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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“It was dumb. I got a little carried away with the chorine bleach.”
This particular blonde was no airhead, so I was patently sure that it had been intentional.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Blonde Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I was getting too old for this, and so was she.
“I’m open for anything,” she'd said, and there was evidence she meant it.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Brunette Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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She was red throughout,
which is very rare in a steak,
and rarer still in a redhead.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Redhead Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"Let's go out and get a hurricane."
The invitation knocked the wind out of me. "Let's not, I said. "I still have quite a headache from that last one."
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Hurricane Katrina Shoe
(Blue Roof)
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"You're old enough to be my-----."
...Of course I was old enough to be her "-----", but it's not the sort of thing a guy likes to hear.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Poodle Skirt Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"I really strapped one on last night."
..."I'm never sure," she said, "if it's a glass of gin that comes with its own snack or a snack that comes with a side of gin."
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Strappy Martini
(Martini Shoe)
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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She had a sexy little flat
in the French Quarter.
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French Flat
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"I bet you got your shoes on Bourbon Street."
"Best place for 'em," I said, and kept right on walking.
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Bourbon Street Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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She'd taken a big bite out of my ego.
..."You're not exactly Snow White. Who died and left you queen?"...Of all the things I'd ever wanted to say to her, it was the fairest of them all.
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Snow White Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I wanted to do everything for her.
...I didn’t see how I could get through the morning --- much less the day --- without her.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Bagel & Coffee Shoe
(Greek Cup)
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"You want chopsticks?"
You have no idea, I thought.
...Sometimes it was hard to believe my good fortune.
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Chopsticks Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"I've been waiting for you," she said.
By the looks of her that wasn’t strictly true, but I let it slide.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Waitress Shoe
(Greasy Spoon)
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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There wasn't going to be an easy way to tell her.
..."You've, um, got ..." I guess my face told the rest of the story, because she looked down and grabbed a napkin."Oh, poo!" she said.
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Poodle Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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She had a delightful brogue.
With her pedigree, it figured.
...If I could just get her to stay awhile, maybe my hopes for an evening of heavy petting would not be scotched.
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Scottie Dog Brogue
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I'd been tailing her for what seemed like hours.
...It was time to get off this merry-go-round and stop horsing around.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Carousel Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"Cute," she said, "but we both know I didn't come here for a dog and pony shoew."
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Dog + Pony Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I cried because I had no shoes,
until I met a woman who had no heels.
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No Heels Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I'd probably burn in hell for what I was about to do.
...I've always loved the feel of satan next to my skin.
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Devil Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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With a jewelry collection like hers, it was a safe bet this angel had fallen many times before. So why was she so interested in a poor devil like me?
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Angel Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"Don't get your boots in a knot," I said.
...I hoped I'd be strong enough to tame her.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Leopard Boot
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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They were as close as sisters.
Closer. Maybe a little too close.
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Siamese Shoes
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"Hello, Red. Nice outfit."
As she sashayed past, I let out a discreet whistle. In this neck of the woods, that was still considered a compliment.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Red Riding Hood Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"Hi, Handsome. I had a ball last night."
"Me too, Pumpkin." I was a little surprised to hear from her after her disappearing act the night before.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Cinderella Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I'd already spent days boning up on her case.
...The sooner I got the whole thing laced up, the better, even if it meant I had to pull a few strings to do it.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Corset Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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For a girl with such a sweet heart, she had kind of a brassy exterior.
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Candy Box Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I knew all about her checkered past.
..."I've been awfully lonely," she said, "since my last husband gave me the boot."
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Checkered Boot
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"You do know how to play, don't you?"
..."Relax," she whispered reassuringly into my ear. "Just give it a good strong whack."
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™. |
Croquet Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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It was a dart and stormy night...
...I would have watched her dart back and forth across the street all night.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Dart Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"Wake me up when you get home. I'll have cookies and milk waiting."
...Sometimes I couldn't believe I was married to this woman. She really knew how to put the XXX in Xmas.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Candy Cane Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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"Want to come up and see my toy collection?"
...She was as cute as a button and about as big. I had to wonder how long I'd be able to control mys elf.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Sleigh Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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It was easy to forget she was just a two-bit hoofer.
...If you're not the lead reindeer, the view never changes.
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Reindeer Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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I already knew what was in the stocking.
It was something I'd been wanting for an awfully long time.
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AND READ THE REST OF THIS SHOESTORY™.
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Christmas Stocking
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75
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ShoeStories™ © Claudia Lynch 2010.
